Delight

The frisson of excitement when visiting a courtesan, the delight of an affair, the pleasure of an illicit liaison. I wonder if this is a feeling more particular to the male of the species? Sometimes any of the above can be sufficient without the final denouement for some men(if this is the case, are they transgressing?). I wonder how many "happily" partnered(PC comes to my blog) sit at night after their partner has gone to bed and surf they adult channels on cable/satellite, get the adult movie when in the hotel and not indulging in any of the first three activities. Are we more inclined to this now because it is more obtainable? No more do we have to fumble amongst the top shelf magazines and hope that Mrs Johnson the stalwart of the W.I comes in, then furl it up in a copy of Gardner's Monthly (that remains pristine for the rest of it's time on earth) and hand it to the newsagent. The male of the species has probably always been like this and just the way of satiating the urge have changed. It would be interesting to know whether the distaff side has the same views but have never allowed them full exposure. Surely we are all inherently sexual?

Pondering

I was pondering the old adage that BJ's end with the final peal of the wedding bells. Is there any truth in the tale? It would be an interesting survey to carry out. I would advance the fact that they are definitely like baby pandas, seldom seen! With a courtesan this and indeed many other activities that the average male would never mention to his partner can be indulged in and indeed celebrated. I imagine that there is also the anonymity element with a courtesan in that you can indulge and then there need never be the awkward pauses/glances when you have tried something out. Also she will never come back with the line "you want to try what?" because in most cases all activities will have been pre-arranged.

The thrill

I am sure that part of the reason for men's proclivities in pursuit of the opposite sex is the thrill of the chase. The chase includes the chatting up in a bar/club to the knock on the door of you chosen courtesan, or indeed waiting for her knock on your room in the hotel. The actual event is as exciting but in a completely different way. In the case of someone with a partner it is often enhanced by the potential of discovery. It has to be better than any of these extreme sports that people indulge in. It is definitely better than jumping of some bridge with an elastic band round your ankles.

Why do men have mistresses, visit courtesans, escorts, call girls, working girls, prostitutes etc etc? What drives them to lap dancing clubs, buy magazines and watch porn?

I think that there are a couple of dynamics at work here. Some men indulge because of an unsatisfactory life at home. How many married men complain that sex becomes a rote with no variety, the elusive BJ and general malaise sexually. In most cases it is not the fault of the poor wife, she has been caught up in the demands of the family, running the house etc. Some men indulge simply because of the thrill of the illicit, the frisson of excitement with an unknown woman, the knowledge that society views the act as unacceptable. There is also the element of being able to fish in waters that would normally be well beyond the norm. A man, no matter how ugly, old, fat, shy or under endowed can, with some selection be with stunningly attractive women who he probably wouldn't dare to even speak to normally. He faces little chance of rejection provided he is clean, polite, sensible and in possession of funds. Another reason for visiting may well be the possibility of indulging in activities that he knows would not be countenanced by his partner at home, this may be why we see so many politicians, business leaders being found in the arms of dominatrixes. There is also the ongoing debate regarding the genetic imperative for men to sow their seed as often and in as many places as possible. I don't believe that this bears on this debate. I think that it is simply the excitement, the pleasure and the ability to indulge.